We often field calls from families concerned about the length of time it takes to complete a home study.  What you read online is not always true (unless you are reading my blog-ha ha).  In states that do not use electronic fingerprinting, it can take 6-12 weeks to receive results from the FBI.  That is because they have to mail the actual fingerprint card and wait for it to be mailed back.  SNAIL mail.  In Florida, we use electronic printing.  Our clients can go to our service online, schedule an appointment at a location convenient to them and be printed on a fingerprint machine.  We have an account with FDLE and all print submission results are sent to us via email with 24-48 hours of submission.  Easy enough!  That’s why we tell our clients that we can complete their home study in a timely fashion…in less than about 30 days if they are diligent with their paperwork.  See info below from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

“The FBI has informed the Florida Department of Law Enforcement that effective April 15, 2012, it will no longer accept fingerprint cards submissions for any domestic adoption. While the FBI will continue to take “hard card” fingerprint submissions for international adoption applicants, all domestic adoption applicants must submit their fingerprints electronically by live scan submission.”

Our agency has used a live scan service since February 2010…with 40+ fingerprint locations in Florida, we are able to serve all our clients and ensure quick fingerprint results!

http://www.heartadopt.com/forms/RequiredBackgroundChecks.pdf

Amy Imber- Connecting Hearts Adoption Services

www.heartadopt.com

My agency is active on Facebook.  With more than 1,000 “friends” I love to post photos of all the new babies as well as comment on all these kids whose parents post post and post some more!  However, I cannot help to think of those families who continue to wait.  I will sometimes see posts and comments from those who continue to wait and  having a hard time with the wait.

Adoption is not fair.  Its like hurry hurry hurry to get the home study done, select your agency, complete the profile.  To then just WAIT.  and WAIT.  and sometimes WAIT some more.  Everyone tells you, “hang in there, your baby is out there.”  Or families often hear “when its meant to be it will be.”  None of these comments  make it easier.  Or maybe it is the “whats going on with your adoption?” question.  You just want to scream NOTHING damn it.  NOTHING!

It is important to keep busy.  Consider working with more than 1 agency/attorney if possible and periodically check in with your agency/attorney.  I am not going to tell you the wait gets easier.  That is b.s.  I can tell you…as every family tells me, the worth is wait it in the end.  Your baby will be meant for your family and you will know that the minute you hold him/her.  Not just any baby is meant for any family.  YOUR baby will be meant for your family.

~Amy

www.heartadopt.com

My last post was about one of my favorite families that I have been honored to work with…the family that adopted a sibling group of 6 kids.  They also adopted 1 other child and have 3 biological child.  They are a large family…with large personality for sure!

Today I received an unexpected letter and photo in the mail.  It was from one of the 6 siblings that were adopted together.  A touching letter from a mature teenager.  Made me cry (go figure) and brings me back 10 years ago.  Working with children in foster care is the hardest job ever.  Seeing them be adopted by their forever families is the most celebrated day for every  social worker.  While the job has its moments, it is clearly the most rewarding.  I am amazed how children are so resilient and can EXCEL and THRIVE when given the opportunity to do so.

No need to thank me Lexie…thank your mom and dad for giving you everything.  You are amazing (and talented).  You parents have made many sacrifices for your entire family, as most parents do.  You are one lucky girl.  Thank YOU for allowing me to be a part of your life and seeing you grow.

xoxo – Amy

www.heartadopt.com

I have a favorite family living in the North Atlanta suburbs.  Crazy family, rambunctious kids, lots of laughing, compromise, sacrifice and most of all, LOVE.  They are a large family…mom, dad, 3 biological kids and 7 adopted kids.  Despite the size of their family, they are like any other family you may know…or maybe not.    THE ideal family for their 7 adopted kids.

Of the 7 kids they have adopted, I was the caseworker for 6 of these kids.  I met this family more than 10 years ago.  When I worked in the foster care system.  I had a sibling group of 5 kids – the 6th was born and entered foster care while I was working with them.  I called this crazy couple about taking 1 of these children and they said yes.  This adorable little  girl went to live with this foster family.  One she desperately needed. This is when the first of these 6 siblings joined this family.

After several visits the kids had all together, it became apparent they needed to be together.  This crazy couple decided to also bring the 2 oldest children into their home.  So of the 6 kids, they had 3.  And wanted the other 3.  This way they could all be together and potentially be adopted TOGETHER.  I thought this couple had clearly lost their mind.  But, they were serious.  Some how and  some way, this sibling group of 6 was able to live together.  And ultimately, were adopted together.  On April 5, 2004, they officially were adopted into their forever family.  They gave the oldest of the 6 my middle name.  She just turned 18.  They are forever the most special family I have ever been honored to work with.  We keep in touch and every time I talk to their mom I cry.  I love this family.

The reason I write this is that I just finished reading this article:

http://www.chicagonewscoop.org/failed-adoptions-lead-to-more-homeless-youths/

It astounds me to think someone would leave their child simply because they turned 18.  The little girl I once knew is now 18 years old.  That does not at all change the commitment her parents made to her when they finalized their adoption and made her a permanent member of their family.  It sickens me to think that the people that are trusted to care for children that NEED parents…maybe more than any other child…would abandon their children because a check stopped coming.  Shame on them.  And shame on a system that never seems to be able to be fixed.

Amy~ Connecting Hearts Adoption Services

We are proud to be participating in this upcoming event…please make sure to come and say hello if you are in attendance! Saturday, October 29, 2011 

An Adoption Forum for the LGBT Community
Location:
The GLBT Community Center of Central Florida
Gallery Q
946 N. Mills Ave.
Orlando, FL 32803

Time:
10:00 am to 12:00 p.m.

Join HRC and Patchwork Project, Inc. for this free workshop to learn about opportunities to adopt and how to navigate the complex adoption laws for same-sex couples. Light breakfast will be served.

Featuring Maria Bates, Executive Director, Patchwork Project, Inc.Maria Bates is the Founder and Executive Director of Project Patchwork, a licensed nonprofit adoption agency in St. Petersburg, Florida and an attorney who specializes in adoption, family planning and nonprofit law. Most importantly, she is an adoptive mother of three amazing children.

Each year the Orlando area chapter of Resolve (the national infertility association) hosts an “Adoption Symposium.”  It is a great opportunity to hear more about adoption.  Whether considering domestic or international adoption or adoption from foster care, this is the time to come listen.  Or maybe you are waiting to adopt…they will have a handful of families share their experiences with domestic and international adoption.  Local support groups are represented as well as adoption resources for families considering adoption.

The symposium is October 10, 2011, at 7 pm at the Dr. Phillips Hospital off Turkey Lake Road, not far from Sand Lake off of I-4.  The address is: 9400 Turkey Lake Road, Orlando, FL 32819.

The meeting will take place in Conference Room A which is on your immediate right once inside the main entrance.  I will hope to see you there.  If you come, please find me and say hello!

This morning I posted a photo on Facebook of a beautiful baby that was placed with our clients.  I posted the photo with the following info attached:

“Met Baby Asher this morning. Crazy to think that a year ago his 2 dads did not have the opportunity to adopt. Now they are parents! A selfless woman CHOSE them to be Asher’s parents. AMAZING. What a beautiful family they make.”

Well, seems this has really set off some people who are “friends” with Connecting Hearts on Facebook.  I have received many emails about this dialogue.  At the request of our fans, we have decided to leave this thread for the time being so others can read and comment if they choose to do so.

I am saddened that there are people who are so narrow-minded and ignorant.  The birth mother of this baby CHOSE this family BECAUSE they are loving, open-minded, genuine, giving and committed to one another and the family they plan to build through adoption.  And they happen to be gay.   And who knows, maybe that is WHY she chose this family for her baby. They sound like ideal parents to me.

Lets just be happy for this baby and his 2 new dads.  Miracles do come true.

Amy – Connecting Hearts Adoption Services

I watched an interesting Dateline this past Friday night.  It was about a young couple in Virginia who became pregnant, split up, then she placed the baby for adoption without the birth father consenting.  This was despite his multiple efforts to assert himself…

Then I saw a repeat of the Diane Downs story.  Diane Downs is a sick and crazy woman who attempted to kill her 3 children.  She was sentenced to prison while pregnant with her 4th child.  This child was born and placed for adoption.  At age 11, this child found out who her birth mother was.  This is so out of the ordinary.

Television offers a glimpse into adoption.  While the situation portrayed in the Dateline piece is tragic for all involved, it is not often that adoptions become challenged.  I think it is important to remember that most families formed through adoption are happy, healthy and doing very very well.  I wish the national news would do a piece on the grateful families formed through adoption.  Those are the families we work with!

Choosing the right agency to work with can be the first and most challenging step of any adoption.  Connecting Hearts Adoption Services is an agency that completes home studies only, we do not place babies or children for adoption and we do not work with birth parents.  We meet with many clients who do not know where to go and look to us for referrals to reputable agencies, attorneys or consultants.

This article from BabyCenter.com offers great advice as to choosing the right resources.  Networking is key and gathering experiences from other adoptive families is a great way to collect information.  Ask your home study provider if she can connect you to other clients she has worked with to learn more about their experiences.  Most agencies are able to give you a handful of their clients willing to talk with you about their experience.  However, those families will only have GREAT things to say about their experiences.  No agency is going to direct you to someone who does not love them and the service they received!  A family can successfully adopt without having a great agency experience.  As well, a family can have a failed adoption and still have a great agency experience.

Wherever your adoption takes you, best of luck!

Amy Imber, Connecting Hearts Adoption Services

One of the biggest challenges in adoption can be SUPPORT!  Not everyone gets it.  People can be insensitive, ignorant and often just clueless as to what is appropriate OR inappropriate.  It can be difficult to find other people who understand.  Other who have “been there-done that.”

Resolve is the National Infertility Association.  They have support groups around the country.  Here in Florida, Resolve is very active in Orlando, Tampa and South Florida.  I really would urge anyone to look at the support that Resolve offers.  Why?  More like, why not?

Connecting Hearts Adoption-Amy